We’re booked on to a Brewery Tour on Wednesday at Noon – Ricky informed Hector the day before departure. Where is it and how do we get there?
I’ll know where it is and I’ll tell you how to get there once we’ve been.
Welcome to Holden Tours
Two Pracownia Biers had been tasted before today. Dwa Smoki, a Wit IPA at 5.8% had been sampled on Monday at the excellent Omerta Pub. A hand-pulled Cask Ale it was assumed to b
e Smokey, not the case. Yesterday in the House of Beer we tried Crack Off, an American IPA at 4.7%. Despite being lower in Gravity this packed much much more Flavour, Unfiltered, the American Hops did their job. A Trip to Pracownia Brewery now felt justified.
Ricky and Geoff had been to the Tourist Information to have the location of the Brewery pinpointed. Somehow the Doris there was trying ot send them in the wrong direction, despite being given a postcode. Hector tried Google Maps and came up with a location to the North-West of Kraków. Kasztanowa was the given street name, just beside a major Road/Motorway Junction.
The rendezvous for Five of us was CK Browar which is sited on the Ring Road outside the Old Town – Stare Miasto. To the North-West was how Hector recalled the location from last year. It turned out to be more West than North.
As Ricky is in Poland every other week, he knows the Tram Network quite well. A Tram would take us some of the distance and a Bus the rest. Which Bus? Geoff was excited about the Tram journey, he likes Trams. Some, Hector in particular had suggested we just take a Taxi the whole way, with Five it wouldn’t kill us, Sat Nav would also be a bonus.
Alighting at the end of the Tram Line, Geoff recalled his last visit here in the pouring rain. The Bus stop was found, and the Bus dismissed, Ninety Minutes until the next One.
Taxi! But from where? Ricky led us past a Pub/Cafe which had Geoff in full Story Mode. A staircase led to somewhere, Ricky tripped on an uneven bit of pavement and launched himself forward.
A railing at the top of the stair was grabbed at and only partially connected with. Ricky’s body was in self-propelled mode by now. He grabbed at the hand rail but still fell forward, having now taken at least four steps on the horizontal. Down he went, a Half Flight of Stairs, rolling, rolling. He came to a halt at the mid stair landing, slumped. Good-bye, Ricky. Geoff and Hector were frozen too, there are no Action Photos. Steve and Marg were down the stairs in a flash and put Ricky back on his feet. Flushed, in Shock, Ricky was helped back to t’Cafe where Lemon Tea was ordered. Hector and Steve had Sparkling Water, Geoff a Lager. Well it was a Brewery Trip. Lemon Tea.
The Taxi
Hector negotiated the stairs with superb skill and found the Taxi Rank some Fifty Metres away. Only standard taxis were on the rank, would we squeeze into One? By the time we left the Cafe, a large taxi was on the rank. In full Hector mode, I showed Driver the Google Map on the Trusty Samsung and in my best Polish – Pracownia Browar. He headed South, the Brewery was North-West, we were still only Halfway. Eventually the Driver was persuaded that he was going the wrong way. I followed his every turn as well as the Live-Feed on Google Maps would permit. We were close to Pracownia Browar on Kastzanowa, the Driver still hadn’t a clue and was the most Uncommunicative Chap ever encountered. He went on his radio – Radio Doris clearly said – Kastzanowa. He did a U-turn and sped off down a new motorway. With Ricky pleading for him to Stop and get off T’Motorway, the road came to a Dead End, exactly as Google Maps predicted. In the front seat Hector was keeping is eyes peeled for a building which looked Brewery-like. Nothing. We pulled in, still Driver saying Nought. A Road Digger was consulted, never heard of it. By now Ricky was offering the name of a Hotel which was next to Brewery. A passing Doris confirmed we were metres away. We bailed and paid little over half of what was on the Meter, around the corner from where we had stopped before the Motorway Trek.
Marg could smell the Hops. Kasztanowa 31 was the given address. It was to the rear of a new Apartment Block. No sign-age, just the Aroma, a Pile of Pallets, and Vapour coming from a Chimney gave the clue as to where we were.
Hi, James. We had met James the Brewer and Publican on Sunday afternoon at his newly opened TEA Time, a Kraków Microbrewery which at this time is still not open a fortnight. We were now Six.
Brewery Doris came out into the yard and welcomed us. Her English was up to the task, just.
We were taken through the various rooms which took us from the Wet to the Dry, passing a Fridge full of Hops. We like Hops, Citra Hops were mentioned, we like them even more. That they gave up on New Zealand Hops disappointed. A Couple of Brewery Workers were busy, Brewing! A Chap who turned out to be Mein Host now presented. He became the focus of the conversation.
We saw Bier, Hops, Bottles. Some Bottles might have had Bier in them…
We were offered no Bier, no T-shirts, though the latter are on order, allegedly.
We said our – Goodbyes – and left, well not quite.
James had driven out and so Ricky, who was struggling to walk cadged a lift. We thought it better that Geoff go with them. And it came to be that Steve, Marg and Hector were abandoned somewhere North-West of Krakow.
A Bus Stop up the road revealed the next Bus was in … Ninety Minutes. I led the way back to the Main Road and spotted a Bus Stop across the way. It took ages to get over, a Waiting Doris confirmed the direction of travel. The next Bus was due in – Ninety Minutes.
Moments later, a Mini-Bus drew up, she got in and invited us to join her. We were Four, there were Four Empty Seats only. This was a Dolmus-type set-up which sped along the Highway back to Krakow.
Where were we going exactly? Waiting Doris spoke continuously to Marg who understood only One Word – Galleria. A Chap offered to translate, but didn’t. The Terminus was opposite the new shopping centre at the Train Station. Success. Another Classic Holden Tour!
We were to reunite at the House of Beer which opened at 14.00. It was only 13.47.
Geoff and a Ricky in pain arrived by 14.30, not expecting us to be there, for a long, long time.
Rowing Jack (Ale Browar), at 6.2%, is by far the most Hoppy, Stunning Craft Bier Hector has ever encountered. This amused us until it was time for Curry-Heute at the Indus Tandoor.
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