Köln, what does one say?  In July 1976, Hector set foot on German soil for the first time.  Arriving by overnight train from the French coast around 06.00 and not due to leave until the overnight train to München around 22.00, it was a long day. This was the first day of my first Inter-Rail, a month touring Western Europe with no bed allowed.  Kenneth had advised Archie and I that Milk, Bread and Bananas would keep us going through the day.  We found a market north of the Hauptbahnhof and sat beside the Rhein.  The Milk was Vollmilch, disgusting. The bread was heavily flavoured, more than we had ever encountered,  and the smell followed us as far as Greece a week later.  The bananas were long, fresh and saved the day, just.

Determined not be ripped off or spend our limited month’s cash in one day, we walked in the heat for hours before it was decided that a Bier was justified.  The choice of Bier venue took an hour.  Einbahnstrasse looked a good bet, then it dawned on us…

 Kölsch #1

We found a small bar with a friendly looking Doris.  She served us two glasses of Kuppers Kölsch.  Is that it?  The 0.2l portion seemed insulting.  We drank as slowly as we could and left.  That was our Bier intake for Day #1.  I have never drank this Bier again. In München the next day things were very different.

I vividly recall the smell of yeast that hung over Köln, or was it our loaf?  We departed, a bottle of apple Juice in tow.  The juice was warm, undrinkable.  Köln had not impressed one bit.

Four years Later

My third Inter-Rail was an add-on to five months spent at Ashdot Ya’akov (Me’uhad) in Israel.  I had been told that Guinness VF was available in Köln Hauptbahnhof.  I made a stop off between Amsterdam and München, the Bier was there.  I returned in 1982, this time with a salary, I still drank Guinness back then.  The lasting memory of this visit is therefore not the Bier.  In a record shop I heard Musik that sounded familiar but wrong.  It was Peter Gabriel singing in Deutsch.  Spiel ohne grenzen…  I do not know the songs from his second album in anything but Deutsch to this day.

The Birth of the Bier Traveller

In 1997 I mentioned to our Depute that I was rendezvousing with a friend in Köln to do yet another Inter-Rail.  He assured I would enjoy the Altstadt.  Altstadt ?  I asked.

I had never gone south from the station and so had missed the heart of the city.  This changed everything.  Früh, Gaffel, Sion, Peters were all discovered.  How had I missed all this?

By the turn of the century, the outlying Weiss Brau at Barbarossa Platz no longer seemed far out of town.  The real Päffgen had been found, not the toy one in town.  The towers in Sünner were a good game if we were a crowd.  Mühlen at the Malzmühle has become a must visit.  There was always the mysterious Reissdorf.

One takes the Internet for granted these days.  I  contacted the Professor of Geography at Köln University to find out where this hallowed Brauhaus was located.  Reissdorf was my favourite Kölsch from the first time I had it, and that was bottled.  To finally reach The Source was totally fulfilling.  I used to be recognised by name on entering these premises.  Sadly, the smoking ban was not fully embraced and so our attention has been moved to their new outlet  Zum Alten Brauhaus in Köln Sud.

 A bed at last

The first night spent in a bed in this fine city was therefore in 1997 at Hotel Ball.  Here the door between the dining room and the kitchen must remain shut, no matter what.  I have never returned there.  Hotel Berg (Andreas tells us  – you’re welcome) and the Ibis at Barbarossa Platz have been the main residences in subsequent years.  Hotel Colonia became the Hotel of choice until the sewer smells during the excavations for the new U-Bahn line to Köln Sud drove us out. Ibis Barbarossa Platz is where it’s at.

Weinachtsmarkt

The Köln Xmas Markets have been a fixture on the calendar for some years.  We stayed at home a few years ago when the Pound v Euro was hurting, somehow St Enoch Square (Glasgow) did not compete. We now go almost every year, it is written.

The Brewery Taps

Gaffel am Dom  –  Bahnhofsvorplatz 1, 50667 Köln

Brauhaus Früh am Dom –  Am Hof 12-18, 50667 Köln

Brauhaus Sion – Unter Taschenmacher 5-7, 50667 Köln

Peters Brauhaus  –  Mühlengasse 1, 50667 Köln

Brauhaus Sünner im Walfisch  –  Salzgasse 13, 50667 Köln

Brauereis Zum Pfaffen  –  Heumarkt 62, 50667 Köln

Brauerei zur Malzmühle (Mühlen) – Heumarkt 6, 50667 Köln

Brauhaus Päffgen  –  Friesenstraße 64-66, 50670 Köln

Reissdorf – Kleiner Griechenmarkt 40, 50676 Köln

Gilden Brauhaus  –  Clevischer Ring 121, 51063 Köln

City Centre Bars

Augustiner am Heumarkt  –  Heumarkt 42-44, 50667 Köln

Löwenbräu Köln Hotel und Restaurant  –  Frankenwerft 21, 50667 Köln

Haxenhaus  –  Frankenwerft 19, 50667 Köln

Papa Joe’s  –  Alter Markt 50-52, 50667 Köln

Délirium Café  – Salzgasse 2-4, 50667 Köln

Craftbeer Corner  –  Martinstraße 32, 50667 Köln

Köln Sud

Zum Alten Brauhaus (Reissdorf)  –  Severinstraße 51, 50678 Köln

Weiss Brau (closed)