Spice Paradise – Sydney - Bier-Traveller

Spice Paradise – Shop 4/203-209 Thomas St., Haymarket, Sydney NSW 2000

Hunan cuisine is known to be spicier than regular Chinese. First had at the World famous Brandy Ho’s in San Francisco, Hector introduced this food to Marg in the eponymous restaurant in Manchester in 2023. Marg was impressed, and could tell by the steady stream of customers, Hunan was something special.

With the intended Sydney Hunan restaurant closed – Easter Monday, that well known Chinese holiday, Spice Paradise became the fallback.

Entering around 17.00 there were customers in situ, but nothing like the number which would arrive in the next hour.

Why were we initially shown to a narrow seating area away from the soon-to-be throng? We weren’t having this.

A QR code had to be used to order, but not pay for the food. Signature Stir Fried Pork with Chilli (A$22.50) was Marg’s choice. She likes her Pork, must remember this at home. Hector was pushing the boat out: Stir Fried Duck Chunks with Beer and Chilli Sauce (A$33.50). There was no charge for – extra spice, and so the box was ticked. Steamed Rice (A$2.50) to share, felt appropriate. Two cans of drinks (A$3.50) were ordered and took an age to arrive. There would be a public holiday surcharge of 15%.

The place was filling rapidly, mostly young adults, the majority possibly female. Marg and Hector stood out, the only Europeans. Some had heaters on the table, more exotic Dishes ordered. Chopsticks, Hector refuses, Marg insists.

Duck

How the Chinese get so much Duck in a typical Takeaway always impresses. Any time I buy Duck there’s a struggle to feed two. I was about to see more Duck than ever before.

Stir Fried Duck Chunks with Beer and Chilli Sauce

How much Duck was here? Hard to judge, but there were a lot of bones. Judging by the wings, possibly three carcasses had been attacked.

Take three cooked Ducks, remove all the quality Meat, set aside, give the punters the rest.

But not before you have saturated the leftovers in Napalm. Then add 357 Chillies.

Marg was still waiting for her Pork, she took a Soupçon and almost fainted with shock. For once – it’s Spicy – was bang on.

Spooning some of the sauce on to the Rice created the Spiciest Rice ever encountered. No respite here. This was an all hands on job, cutlery would have been a waste of time. The Chillies had permeated the Duck, way more than I thought was possible. The hundred or so Chillies sitting in the broth were still working.

This Duck was Spicy. On a scale of one to ten, try fifty. Vindaloo, Tindaloo, Pal, I’ve had them. Sweat, yes, but nothing like this. Maybe I was prepared. I could eat it, it was an ordeal, but I love Duck and this was not going to defeat me.

The palate just became hotter and hotter. Don’t touch the cola, that would mean the end of eating. I was going to get through this. The pate was oozing sweat. More tissues, and some. Discomfort? Maybe partial, aye right. This was a test of willpower, determination. 99% of peeps would have waved the flag, not the Hector, eat on, prove it can be done.

Sensibly, I stopped eating the Chillies, who knows what became of them. I pity the local pig population if that’s where they ended up.

I had asked for – extra spice – was Chef just having a laugh. Where were the cameras? Was Hector the – April fool?

Excruciating does not even begin to describe this ordeal, yet I ate on. The occasional Mushroom did offer respite. My sixth Duck wing was a celebration, E Festa, the end was in sight. The plate of discarded bones was towering, the inferno was in Hector’s mouth. A pile fit for a bonfire, Bonfire of The Vanities, Hector was on fire, no surrender. I knew I could manage this, I did. I can’t say I removed all the Meat from every part of every bone, but wastage was minimal, apart from the thousand chillies still in the broth.

Marg’s meal took a further ten minutes to arrive, she had to remind one of the young waiters that she was still waiting.

Stir Fried Pork with Chilli

This was essentially a rerun of the Hunan Dish Marg had ordered at Xiang Xiang Hunan Cuisine in Singapore’s Chinatown. Lots of Pork, lots of Green Chillies. As before there would be a pile of Chillies leftover. A tame Dish in comparison, but as Marg ate, she had to watch the disintegration of her husband across the table.

By the time the last Duck bone had been offered to the pile, the cola was warm. Any edge it may have taken off the burning mouth wasn’t happening. As was proven in Red Dwarf, the only way to kill The Mutton Vindaloo Beast was with lager. Hector needed something ice cold, yellow and fizzy, quickly. Exit stage left.