This is Hector’s Version, and he’s sticking with it.
Hector has been t’Oktoberfest twice, both times during the Glasgow September Weekend, full price flights, rip-off hotel prices in München. Lord Clive of Crawley has been the only Ever-present.
When Jonathan joined The Company so many years back he related how it is possible to go t’Oktoberfest midweek and not struggle to find a seat early on, move about even. Fine for those who can choose when to take a Vacation, for us poor Teachers, ah, but no more! Has Hector mentioned – Retiral – only in the opening paragraph.
Armed with #1 Bayern Tickets, six set off from Nürnberg just after 09.00. We watched the direct RE depart ahead of us, by changing at Ingolstadt we would save some twenty minutes. Many had the same idea given the volume of the Bier Cargo brought on to the train by those dressed in t’Traditional Costume. Taking Bier to the World’s Biggest Bier Festival… only in Bayern.
Arriving in München we expected to see the Hauptbahnhof Reception Committee for the Wave of Syrian et al Refugees, the Station was just it usual bustle. There was an ambulance on the concourse. Clive and Hector went to park Clive’s luggage, he would return home this evening, if fit to fly. Jonathan, Dr. Stan, Jim and Aileen went straight to the Wiesn. Yes, Dr. Stan! The Man who said – Never again. We forgot to bring his dress.
Clive and Hector had – Other Business – before any Festbier was consumed, this is Munchen, there is another priority – Food – and this – Food – has to be – Curry – and there is only one venue where – The Curry – can be consumed – Indian Mango.
Fischer Vroni is the only Oktoberfest Zelt that Hector has set foot in previously, though at Frühlingsfest others have been encountered. Is it really five months since Frühlingsfest? It was not difficulty to find the others such are the wonders of technology. A table reserved at 17.00 would provide the locus for Bier #1, the Augustiner. Superb. There had to be photos, there had to postings on the various Social Media, – Others must suffer. I have previously, it isn’t my turn, I have completed my thirty four years of work at a top West of Scotland Independent School. Maybe thirty five was the original plan and this visit was not expected until 2016, however such is the Demoralising Mess that the Scottish Education System finds itself in, – Exit Stage Left… Today is a/the day Hector has been looking forward to most for over a decade. The Augustiner Festbier had Edelstoff as the route of its name – Wiesn Edelstoff (€10.30) – Yay, we like Edelstoff, actually Dr. Stan prefers the Helles, he’ll never find out.
Being much quieter, between – Prosits – there were fewer Fish being prepared, Less Aroma, Less Atmosphere. Hector is convinced that it was the visits here previously which awakened the Taste-buds to – Fish – Fish Curry – and now – Fisch Chettinad.
Dr. Stan was pacing himself, Three moved on to the Ochsenbraterei Spaten Tent, we joined as soon as. One half of the Tent was full, again later bookings put people off these tables, were they here for the duration? The Spatenfestbier was also a joy, once we were served.
Doris, Our Doris, was deep in conversation with a fellow worker, two tables from us, same passage, we were ignored. When it came time for her to end her conversation she deigned to serve the remaining three Biers. Where the Musik in Fischer Vroni had all been Bayerische, Traditional, here we had to suffer the vagaries of so called Popular Musik. Take me home, Country Roads, to the place…
The Chickens are dead, we’re in The Zone
Once again, Jim, Aileen and Jonathan were ready to move on before those who have not been here for some years. Far right in the Löwenbräu Tent – was the message. It was now mid-afternoon, the Fest was Filling. The Löwenbräu Tent was at the far end of the site, the Laughing Lion is a Legend.
The far right of the Tent was stowed, Jonathan was phoned, they were outside, well inside but at the side, outside, never mind…. Just as we were about to leave – The Inner Sanctum – Hector, alert and vigilant spotted a gap created by departing Weans, we were in!
Only three momentarily occupied the table which should have accepted eight. The Others were informed, – We have Seats! The third Mass is never a problem, drinking it before it gets warm is the main concern rather than the falling over possibility. One can be – taken out – by falling bodies. On Visit #1, Hector attempted Impossible Gymnastics to get from his seat to the passage, the Resulting Debris cheered… just as well. The Band were just along from us, the Tent was Full, this was t’Oktoberfest.
Mathäser
From 1976 until 1986, the Mathäser Bierstadt was everything to Hector. Löwenbräu Helles/Dunkles by the Mass, a Band, that all could see and react with. Where Reinhard used to play. The side rooms (Inside) the Main Tent had Local Names, one was Mathäser, this stared at me throughout, I should have swopped seats with Clive.
As is the norm, the table bonded. A Brother and Sister from -???? – and a younger Chap. We have Seats! They were happy to continue the blocking of the seats so as The Others could join us. We found The Others inside out, outside in. It was still empty out there within the Löwenbräu Perimeter. There was a text – Olaf is here. By now, The Others had moved to a Hacker-Pschorr Tent to accommodate the new arrival.
Dr. Stan is a Very Naughty Boy
As we neared the end of Litre 3 Heute, Dr. Stan made a suggestion – We have seats, inside, why move? Bier #4! By now we were well in with out Table Associates, we still had seats blocked – We have Seats!
We’re on our way – was the last thing Hector heard from Jim today. The Plan was to rendezvous at the Hofbräu Tent where Jonathan assured us there was A Pit, standing service. Everywhere else, no Seat, no Bier. We have Seats!
Nearing 18.00, Dr. Stan again made a proclamation. Knowing that we were due to depart in time for the sensible 19.09 back to Ingolstadt/Nürnberg and we were all on the same Bayern Ticket, he suggested he go and we stay on longer. This message was relayed to Jonathan, Jim and Aileen. I believe there was concurrence. Clive would have had to leave at some point to get to the Airport. The Hofbräu Tent was calling. Exiting the Löwenbräu Tent I managed to lose Dr. Stan and Clive. There was a communique, apparently the 19.09 was re-instated. Jim had unilaterally declared it was time to go home and had left, with Aileen. Was Hector the only person still at t’Oktoberfest?
Spotting an exit, I could not work out why the closer I walked to the U Bahn Station, the further I was getting from it. There was a realisation, Hector would never make the 19.09. Despite having left first, Jim and Aileen never made it either. Dr. Stan and Jonathan were the only two on the ticket for five.
Hector had left the site on the far side. What was a Hector to do?
The Trusty DB App informed that the next optimum train was in two hours. How does a Hector amuse himself for two hours in München ?
Taxi –Zweibrückenstraße Bitte. Time for Lamm Chettinad. Nobody at Indian Mango was surprised to see me.
I still had over an hour, the Augstiner Gastätten had to be visited, one cannot come to München and not visit, also the Edelstoff had to be sampled, for comparison purposes.
With Steven Wilson’s – Hand Cannot Erase – uninterrupted, the journey back was gone in no time. Had I chosen not to change at Ingolstadt I would still have arrived in Nürnberg, but some half hour later.
Strange, all in all, this was a remarkably Sober Oktoberfest.
